You can find make-it-yourself tutorials for Christmas Crackers (BonBons?!) here, here, and here. I have laid eyes on the bits-to-make-crackers at Spotlight recently, too. I’m making some of these and filling them with diamond rings and gold watches and stuff like that…. OK.. that’s an exaggeration, but I think I might go to the Cake Decorating Shop in the city and get some cute teeny-tiny little figurines to go in them… and some NICE lollies… and party hats… and a handwritten joke.
Lame Jokes FYI…
Why did the fish blush?
Because the sea weed
What brown and sticky?
A stick
Feel free to use those….. And add any more you might have so we might all benefit on Xmas day! Go on… give us a joke!
xx mikes
One of my all time favs:
What did the zero say to the eight?
“Oh, I like your belt”
And, as stolen from a past BB contestant:
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they Aarrrrhhh!!!
To continue Posie’s theme:
What do you call a man with a shovel?
Doug
What do you call a man without a shovel?
Douglas
What do you call the guy lying on on your front door step?
Matt
What do you call a woman who can stretch her legs across a tennis court?
Annette
Ahhh the classics – but I must stop there or I’ll get to the rude ones and embarrass myself….
My daughter made this one up: What do you call a skeleton without bones…. A skinelton!
How does a Monkey cook his toast???
On a Gorilla!
Hehe – sorry – just had to add a little sunshine to your day – I was told that one years ago by a four year old I was teaching and I still get a giggle out of it!
Warning! Really bad jokes ahead!…….
Which reindeer has the worst manners?
A: RUDE-olph!
What are red & green and grow on the ocean floor?
A: Christmas corals!
Santa: Doctor, Doctor , I feel so unfit
Doctor: You need to go to an elf farm!
Sorry!
Merry Jingles All!
What does frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
frostyflakes.
What do xmas elves learn at elf school?
The elfabet.
ps. what do you call a crate of ducks?
a box of quakers
ha ha! i love those sort of jokes.
rest assured i shall be singing ‘we’re walking in the air’ in high-pitched squeal at some point this season, and remembering when i, as a podlette, would sing it at my nans house in my little blue magic cape, pretending to fly atop the houses. ah for the days of olde
x
Oh ha ha ha, i went to my daughters’ school staff party on Thursday (a lovely catered lunch) & the bon bons, silly crowns & jokes were as fabulous as always. Mine went something like this:
“What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head??”
“Russell”. Ha de ha!!
Christmas is zooming too quickly this year, i have 3 markets in 8 days, 4 children on school holidays, husband away & an interstate move to prepare for. Let’s say the neighbourhood teenage babysitters are loving it!! Argghhhh . . . love Posie
I love this joke:
What do you call a polar bear in the desert?
Lost!
Oh! These are funny!!! I’m embarassed to say mine now. Oh well, ok here goes:
How do you know if there are elepants in the fridge?
Footprints in the butter.
Hmm let me think…
What’s a frog’s favourite drink?
Croak-a-cola
I quite like this one:
Two fish were in a tank. One said to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
I love that idea!! Maybe I’ll make some of those for New Year’s Eve. Here’s my joke:
Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing!
Meredith @ Bittycakes