Well. Hate Email. Um. Kinda yick. I got some hate email a wee while ago. If you are my friend on Facebook you might have seen me incredulously cut and paste most of the email over there for all to see. It was at 7.38am when the mail came in. It actually did not really upset me. I am grown up enough to know that not everyone will like me, and that is okay. But I felt upset for the person, because imagine wasting your time slinging poop in my direction when you could be doing something interesting. Waste. Of. Time.
But maybe it’s not a waste of time, because I have been reading Mia Freedman’s piece about haters/trolls and also a bit in Marieke Hardy’s new book (You’ll Be Sorry When I’m Dead) about hate mail. And I guess my thinking is that QUITE a few people get hate mail. Which means QUITE a few people must send it. Unless there is one hatey person out there with the Thesaurus turned to the page VENOM and a mighty case of writer’s cramp. Hm. He probably looks like Davros…
SO. I think it’s important to talk about this stuff. I got hate mail. Someone sort of hated me enough to sling an email in my direction calling me Pathetic and referring to my work as a copy of the entire Golden Hands Craft Series and ‘for the artistically challenged’. Well. KINDA interesting, in terms of being particularly pointy barbs to hurl. I’m okay with it though. I know that I am not pathetic. My work is not copied FROM the Golden Hands Craft Series. And also my books are for rad people and if artistically challenged people like them I am pleased.
What do you think of trolls? My troll was anonymous, of course. I don’t blame her/him, because it would not be nice to be found out if you were a troll. Trolls have important things to say in their own shirty, disappeary, non-identifiable way. BUT internet trolls are also sort of magical in their ability to make you think about finding good ways to approach negative stuff. Yes they can hurt your feelings, but they can also make you go. ‘OMG. I’m pathetic! Oh no! Um… Actually I am not. I am okay. I do my best. I’m a good egg. Phew. Glad I got that sorted. Thanks Troll.’
Have you ever been trolled? Have you ever written or received a poison pen letter? Do you think the internet can be a safe haven for trolls? Do trolls make you upset?
xx Pip
PS :: Maybe I was a teensy bit upset… but I got over it really quickly. Honest.
We're not all trolls. I really love your blog, it is inspiring and encouraging. Only a negative and jealous person would write such nonsense. They are obviously missing the point of your blog. Hugs from a big fan. And rememember, "Keep calm and carry on" 🙂
Wow, Daria, you should ask Santa for a clue this year. I buy many (expensive) cookbooks…and yet I can get almost all of those thousands of recipes online for free. I buy those books because I love the way the recipes are catalogued, the presentation, the story, the photography etc. Same goes with books like Pip's. Sure, I could surf the web and save all my findings to Pinterest or my Favourites but there is nothing that compares to flipping through the pages of a gorgeous, heartfelt book.
As for accusing Pip of cashing in….bloody hell, woman! Pip has worked long hours on each of her books, she has busted her arse with Meet Me At Mikes, she is a huge supporter and promoter and contributor of the handmade/craft world and you break that down to cashing in? You should be ashamed of yourself.
i can't believe YOU got hate mail! of all people. really! you are the sweetest and happiest blogger I know. some people…. yuck.
Ahhh! You are AWESOME! Don't let them get to you. Not to kick you when you're down, but I have one very small (constructive) criticism of your book… While I love the pretty pictures I wish there was less of them, and more content instead – I just can't get enough!
I am a huge fan and have bought all your books so far, and have pre-ordered the latest. Just got an email from Amazon today to say it's coming out earlier than expected and I should have it by Friday – YAY!!
PS – Whatever this golden crafts thing is, if it's anything like you sign me up!
not liking what you do is one thing, but to go to the trouble of telling you..?! i think i'd be devastated to get hate mail on my blog and would find it very hard to move on. i wonder what trolls are like day to day? are they horrible to people around them all the time, or do they only do this anonymously? i imagine they're very lonely and sad. and pathetic.
I once was trolled on a comment that I posted on another person's parenting blog. I was agreeing with the blogger and a woman really had a go at me for being too idealistic or something. She sounded really insecure about her own parenting, so I had to just ignore her. But still, it made me a bit afraid to be too up front about things online. You've handled this all so well, though. I'm inspired!
and that Daria lady sounds a little bit jealous to me…. just sayin.
I get mega hate mail when I write about asylum seekers and their human rights. I get hate mail when I show pictures of my AsYLUM SEEKERS WELCOME HERE cushion. Someone called me "irresponsible" as I "was promoting refugees to come here" because I am sure people in the Sudan in refugee camps are all sitting in their refugee camps on their ipads reading my blog.
When someone wants to have a go at me about refugees I say: BRING IT ON SUNSHINE! most people that are opposed are just sprouting myths and crap perpetrated by racist talkback hosts. It has got nasty a few times on my blog because of it as people got really irate at the woman who started the hate…. but its not all flowers and sunshine and I like that my blog and cushion got so many people fired up. so hate mail is not always bad.
I ignore hate email.
The amount of time it takes me to hit that delete button is the maximum amount of time that I'm willing to spend on them.
Pip I CAN’T STAND this shit.
Ironically we have this hanging in our toilet:
Precious Human Life
Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it, I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.
14th Dalai Lama
Do what you do with a kind heart and all is well ?
Jusx
Pip, I don't think these haters actually appreciates just how long it takes to do what you do. They come and consume it for free and then whinge when you get a bit of popularity. Your blog is entertaining and you offer it for free. Not everyone is a rabid devourer of blogs and they can have your book. I don't hear people whining about photographers who release expensive coffee table books of landscapes – yet they didn't create the landscapes. You have no apologies to make to anyone. Like all good softies I say 'stuff 'em'!
Pip, I once had a troll 'have a go' at me on twitter for lame things .. like my tweet that my 11 yr old daughter was not allowed to watch 'home and away'. she accused me of lying. I asked her why she was attacking my tweets – she replied …………"because I can".
that's it…….. because they can.
not worthy of another thought.
xxxx
Smooches to all, I say. Esp the good eggs xxx
Have you seen this site Pip? http://www.trollologist.com/ Lucy Pepper is cataloguing Trolls types on the Internet. Very inciteful 😉
Hold on a minute please, Daria.
How is having a shop selling handmade items cashing in?
Where is someone like myself supposed to sell my handmade goods? Harvey Norman? Myer? David Jones? Your comment is unfounded and does not make any sense.
As for the price of Pip's books, to begin with, Pip does not determine the RRP and secondly, have you ever produced a book yourself? Are Pip/the book publisher expected to use a designer/photographer/stylist/printer/binder/distributer and not pay them?
And who determines whether or not someone is an "expert" on what they are writing about? Pip produces books about CRAFT, not brain surgery!
As for free downloads, do you go to work and work for free? Why should creative people give everything away for free? Before the internet, you went to a bookstore, bought a craft book and taught yourself how to make something.
A person can make the exact type of dress that I can make, but that does not mean I should be expected to make dresses and give them away without payment.
I very rarely respond to blog posts on other people's blogs, but feeling that you need to give someone "a reality check" in their own space is just plain rude.
People who troll *anyone* on the internet ARE "freaks and creeps" and the world would be a better place without them.
ps – if that link didnt work, just go to google and type this:
"meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com" "how to"
pps – if someone knows how to do something that you don't know how to do, and you learn from them how to do it – that makes them the expert. duh.
Hello 'DARIA' (obviously your favourite cartoon character and not your real name).
I just googled this:
http://www.google.com.au/search?gcx=c&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=meetmeatmikes+granny+square#sclient=psy-ab&hl=en&source=hp&q=%22meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com%22+%22how+to%22&pbx=1&oq=%22meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com%22+%22how+to%22&aq=f&aqi=&aql=1&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=11217l16743l2l17157l15l11l0l0l0l7l679l4840l2-1.4.2.4l11l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.,cf.osb&fp=651bed0b0f58a1c9&biw=1599&bih=779
to show how much stuff Pip actually DOES OFFER FOR FREE you complete moron! You know how I know? Because I do all the projects. My kids think I'm a wonder woman. I have slippers and blankets and dyed easter eggs and I have even got a ton of tips for my own blog.
You are so glaringly obviously a person who has had a craft book knocked back by a bunch of publishers. Go and knit yourself a brown paper bag for gods sake.
As for good egg vs saint – make up your own mind:
Go here: http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com/2011/09/softies-for-mirabel-foundation.html
and here:
http://brownowls-members.blogspot.com/
and here:
http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com/2009/02/handmade-help-victorian-bushfires.html
And BTW, Daria. How much money do you think I make?! OMG. I make less than 10% of the cover price of each book if I am lucky, often WAY WAY less than that due to book discounting. Considering the many many months books take to write, I reckon I earn about 50c an hour if I am lucky with my book writing. Ka-ching!
And you can tell from all the Meet Me at Mike's franchises and the Meet Me at Mike's online store that I am TOTES cashing in there too. LOL. And if you DO read this blog, you will know that I publish a ton of free how-tos here. And that my blog has no ads and is not an earner for me.
So… what the heck are you talking about? Your view is completely ill informed, in my opinion, because you are not aware of my earnings.
I also said I know that not everyone will like me, and that is okay. And I know you don't like me, now, but it would be good if you did not use a pseudonym, if you feel so strongly about me. At least then I can steer clear of you at parties, less the jangling of my moneybags offends you. Why not stand behind your opinion? Because I stand behind mine…
Okay 'Daria'. Thanks for your view. I said I was a good egg. I never said I was a saint 🙂
Hi Pip. I don't care if you don't post this, perhaps you shouldn't. I really enjoy your blog and have done so for a couple of years now.
However, I can see why there are some poeple who may feel that, given how many crafty poeple there are out there who post free how-to stuff on the internet etc, you are basically cynically cashing in on it, first with your shop and now with this rush of (not cheap!)books.
That's your thing and you don't have to care about some epople may feel, but I know that I wouldn't spend money (and your books are expensive) on something that I can download for free, or more of, and more unique. Also, I don't feel that you are in any way an expert to write such thigns in the first place, sorry.So rather than concluding that you're a saint and that everyone should love you and those who don't are freaks and creeps, a reality check is always good. I have nothing personally against you as I don't know you, but stuff like this is on the nose (from you I mean).Oh and by the way, I'm not a troll or a hater, I just read your blog from time-to-time and that's it. And I'm not the one, nor do I know, the person who wrote you a nasty email. Cheerio!
Oh Pip, why would anyone have a problem with you? You're one of those people who is nice to EVERYONE.
I will never understand why the haters have to hate. Personally, if I don't like something or someone, I don't read it/watch it/talk to them and leave it at that. It takes too too much energy to actively dislike something. Life is far too short to be shitty all the time.
Say meh to the trolls. Nothing you can do is going to change how they feel. You can only control you.
And it's probably already been said, but for every person that doesn't like you and says so, there's HEAPS of us that DO like you. And probably don't tell you enough. So I'm saying it now.
Keep up the good work and the smiles!
I think your neat Pip, and clever too and your blog and books make me smile. Thank you for being you.
I think that would totally get through my thin skin. I would like to think that my hide has gotten thicker over the years, but I don't really know.
I would reming myself that those people really aren't saying anything about me but about how there is so much yuck feeling inside themselves that they can't help but let it out. I feel sorry for them because they are so unhappy.
You are ace, and take care not to offend, so poor them that their lives are so horrible.
I generally avoid reading the comments section on most blogs, and don't enable anonymous questions on my tumblr, for the very reason that there are icky people and there are angry people – and combinations thereof – and those are the people most desirous of attention. The only thing we have control over is ourselves and our reactions. I've seen things like this really hurt some people, and like you said, it's truly a waste. I'm glad it didn't get to you, because you are lovely and your blog is a treasure trove.
OK I've never written hate mail/email/comments. I have said oh I don't like this or that once or twice but on the whole I only feel compelled to comment when I'm moved in a nice way. I've written into our bus company here in Dublin after periods of snow to thank them for a great service, or simply written to a journalist to thank them for an article, people are always amazingly touched when I do…probably because it doesn't happen enough. I think it's a waste of energy worrying about why people do it, I know for a fact my beloved boyfriend has trolled because he found it amusing, we argued about it even. I said he wouldn't be hurt by it himself and he thinks it's a joke so he does it to wind people up. I don't agree with it but there you go, he's not some loser friendless cretinous teenager on his Mom's computer, he's a friendly, sociable intelligent person who likes winding people up on the internet sometimes. I don't like but it happens. Best thing to do is not concentrate on why people do it, people will always do it…concentrate on the good stuff instead. As you do xxxxxxx
some people are miserable and like to express it so they can share their pain. yes, i have received negativity and while i was at first amazed at how much this caught my attention considering 99% of people are positive and encouraging, i was pretty happy to have a chance to move beyond it and try even harder for those people who do want to see my work and see me achieve. i think you do a great job, and while some people want to make the world around them a worse place (trolls), you make it better, and that's pretty cool i think 🙂
Great to see your staying positive. You are very clever. I think your critical comment came from someone who is jealous, and begrudges you your success.
Ok so my theory is that as long as you focus on the ja-trillion ( yes that a real number, I think it comes after bajillion) positive, loving , friendly stuff that comes your way & not the itsy bitsy amount of negative stuff you will be ok.
What I can't understand us why someone goes out of their way to be negative & troll like? That says waaaaaaay more about them than it does you. Your awesome, inspiring & heaps of other great adjectives, we know it & so do you!
Um I got my first spam comment the other day. I was well, I hate to say it but I was stoked. My only pain was to have to delete it. You seeI don't get many comments so I treasure the good and the bad. What a sick puppy I am. I know I will change my tune one day. As for hate mail, I think it comes with the territory when you become a high profile person. Fortunately Pip you are able to use it to your advantage, so these trolls are just good fodder. We all have a degree of envy for successful people, what do they call it "Tall poppy syndrome". I wish I was good at something, even successful, but it will never be, but I sure know I will never lower myself to hurt those who have worked so hard to get to where they are now. Go girl, the trolls will never go away.
What a shame they didn't have the decency to say who they were, very lowly indeed! And obviously very jealous. You know you rock 🙂
I find that people who take the time to do these sort of things without having the guts to show their identity are some of the scariest people around. I don't have time for the gutless or the mean. And my motto is 'your opinion of me is none of my business', I'm just living my life here. Bloggers open themselves up to all sorts of attacks. It's like when I exhibit my art for all to see 'is someone going to like it enough to buy it?' or 'are they just thinking it's pathetic?' After completely doing my head in, I decided to hell with them all, I'm doing what I love & that means integrity. Most of us on here follow your blog because it's inspirational, honest & funny.
It's good to hear that you processed it enough to move on from it, thereby rendering it powerless to what you do. One bitter person can only ruin things if we allow them to.
Keep blogging, keep publishing, and keep reminding all those who stumble across your blog that the crochet granny square is the coolest thing on the planet. Sometimes it's about reviving & reminding.
Have a great day Pip
The thing I find odd is that the troll obviously must have had a good look at your book or indeed even bought it to have formulated such a strong opinion. Why would they bother if it's just not for them?
I think most haters are bored, bored, bored. Poor them for not being able to turn it into something constructive. (Like making something?!)
I love your sunny attitude and also the way you can still admit to being shirty about it, even in your lovely sunny way.
In a similar vein, I have never understood why people write indignant letters to the Green Guide about things they hate on TV. Turn it off if you don't like it! Likewise, move on if you don't like someone's blog! It takes a lot of courage to put one's life and thoughts and ideas out there in blogland for the scrutiny of complete strangers. You do it with such honesty, kindness and grace, Pip. Never change.
I love that on the internet everyone can have their say.
It is healthy to have dialogue.
It is healthy to have opinion.
It is healthy that we can express what we think.
It is healthy to be different from one another, to think differently, to 'do' differently.
What upsets me about this kind of'freedom of expression' (trolling) is that invariably it it anonymous leaving the victim of the vitriol no right of reply. Really pretty gutless & passive aggressive- my least favourite behaviour!
It really took that person a lot of effort to send you that VERY long email- I read your posts that day.
Sad that such amazing energy is wasted in such a negative way.
Times like that we need to pop on our teflon coat and let it all slip right off……
xxxx
Wah! Can't even believe that someone would say such things to you, when you are an inspiration to SO MANY! I'm so impressed that you got over it so quickly too, I know that I would find that part hard (why do the mean comments seem to stick so much harder than the nice comments do?)… And your comment about how hate mail can silence people, so true and so sad.
You are awesome! Do you think sometimes this bad stuff comes from a wee bit of jealousy. Yes I have been at the receiving end yucky stuff – on FB no less. Lucky it was later removed as it was totally out of line. It was a horrible experience.
what the heck? i can't believe someone would do this? why don't they get a life!…instead of sending their poison about…
I tend to disagree; I don't think trolls are necessarily jealous. I sometimes think they do have an important (to them) issue that they want to; need too raise. That is fine. Good, even. But I do take issue with people hiding behind an anonymous moniker and using that shield to be nasty. That is decidedly uncool.
Nope. Never received or sent hate mail…. but I have to confess to drafting a hate email the other day in my mind. The scenario was that I was struggling to open a box of weetbix. This is ridiculous I thought. Why has santarium made it so difficult to open the box these days. Oh the poor elderly and disabled – this new design would be impossible for them to open – look at how I struggle and I have strong hands. The email I drafted in my mind was quite savage. I was very annoyed at how difficult it was to open the box and then the plastic wrap inside.
Thank goodness my life is too hectic to sit at a computer and fire an email off straight away. The next morning I got up to serve myself some weeties… and what would you know – I'd opened the box upside down. D'oh. (… blame it on the baby brain!)
How awful Pip! I must say that I have thoroughly enjoyed watching your star rise and shine. Hip hip hooray to healthy debate, opinion and discussion in Comments. Poo to nastiness and hateful tirades, and the sending of nasty email.
Thank you for your blog and your cheery, sunny, happy and crafty nature.
One of the downsides of internet communities – trolls. It's too easy to be cowardly and hide behind a computer screen. If you've got beef? Then yes, fair enough, speak up but have the courage to do it under your own name, it's a lot more credible.
My advice? Ignore, delete, forget, move on.
Oh frickin trolls. It's so super sad. I mean for them. They sit behind their little computer screens and write icky comments whilst they hide. I just wonder, would they say it to your face? You're sensational Pip. In your case it is definitely tall poppy syndrome!
I had a yucky comment on my blog a few months ago. I have to admit, it upset me for a wee while. Then I remembered that I do what I do for me. Not for anyone else. So to somewhere unpleasant with you if you don't like it. I couldn't care.
Silly Troll, I am very excited by your pic, I had that troll as a little girl and he was my very favourite, prized in my vast collection. Some people are just odd. I love you Pip, you make me laugh.
Wow, that's the thing I don't understand – if one has time and energy one hand then it wouls be best to spend it on something productive and enriching rather than raining on someone elses parade. We all do what we do and it would be great if others could let there good selves go with that. I have been folowing your blog and other bits with interest for a while and find your approach really refreshing 🙂
Pip! I love your blog, it is my favourite.
I love your stuff!
But even if I didn't, I mean, you are doing stuff! That is better than sitting around watching TV or playing video games! Why would anyone put someone down for that!?
This really happens?? so horrible. who? and why? people can be so strange.
Maybe I should be glad that nobody reads my little blog!
Congrats to you for being awesome and not letting it get you down.
Well handled Pip! Just take it as a sign that you're really getting somewhere. Trolls rip the heads of Tall Poppies. Whenever you put something into the public realm you have to be ready to duck. I have copped it too. Not hate mail but a really vicious review that attacked me personally. It was really just very very silly. YOu keep going girl, you're a gem. jxx
Ok I was cross at first. Now I say thank goodness for small minorities because they put large majorities into proportion!!! Trolls are chicken feed. Lets not give them too much airplay. What is someone who doesnt approve even doing here?? We love you Pip. I mean that. You are very generous of yourself and your skills and your heart. Thankyou for that. I come here every day and you have made me braver to be myself. Sue 🙂
Down with trolls and up with all beautiful, crafty, bloggy, share- and-pass-it-on types!
Lots of us think you are great!
Lovely Pip, I bought Make Hey yesterday and love it loads, thought that the cosy couuple blanket was inspired and just loved the look and feel of the book. I was impressed how you made mention of the people who inspire you and I've always thought how generous you are with your nods in the right direction to the people who may have done or said something first. I don't think I would have told you this if it was not for the person who felt the need to email you with what can only be jealousy. You have opened up your life to us which I guess is the reason that people can contact you in this way. Forget them and keep doing what you do because you rock, I can honestly say you inspire me and got me back into crafting. You write for nice people so they have no business reading it anyway.
Love Laurie Freeman xx
Nope, no trolls for me. I think I'd be perversely pleased if one ever considered me worth the time. Its only the biggest, most successful and visible bloggers who attract them so take that as a compliment :o)
I've come across trolls in badly managed online forums and it doesn't take long to realise that most of them are sad people who reveal more about themselves and their pathologies than they do anything about the person they are slagging off. But they leave such a horrid lingering feeling that even if the accusations are almost amusing in their dementedness you feel unhappy and stressed that such people are out there hating so much.
I think that nasty trolls have always existed, hence the classic anonymous poison pen letter, but the internet has given their bile greater scope because of its anonymity and vastness.
An ex boyfriend was a sometime bouncer at a nightclub and he said that he figured that out of every 100 people one person would be not quite right – so considering how big the internet is, it's not surprising that there are trolls about. I think it's how we deal with them that's the thing – and you have the right attitude. Do not respond in kind, behave in a mature way, laugh if you can and shine a really really bright light on them and their nasty, creepy ways. They can only really function in the dark, like any bully. And as such, I think that if they can actually be identified they need to be confronted, if not publically outed (which can cause the pitchforks and torches to come out and is never pretty), they should not be allowed to escape scot-free to continue on their not-so-merry way with no repercussions.
No troll in any story I've ever read LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER…..they get their karma and make us like minded people even stronger:)
It's jealousy, isn't it that causes it? It's interesting as I've read a number of comments from people this week who have had hate mail. I just don't get it. I had one negative email once when I mucked up some photo acknowledgements. I just fixed my links and sent her a friendly email back. Sheesh, life is too short.
Keep up the good work 🙂
Hi Pip, if only people would follow the rule that if you haven't got something nice to say about a person, say nothing. Then may be the world may be a much nicer place. What a person says/writes about someone says more about them than it does about the person to whom the comment is directed.
Wow Pip, how awful. With such a tiny readership I've never had the pleasure of a troll but I'm pretty sure there would be a few tears shed on my part.
Surely this person must have a pretty horrible life to do something like that. Surely?
Sometimes I wish people couldn't post anonymously on-line but I guess there are times when anonymous posts are essential. Here's hoping they've got their kick and moved on.
Pip, I think you're pretty amazing. I really admire your positivity. Always have. I have seen a few words thrown around in these comments like gracious, mature, inspiring. You are all of those things and more.
Love your work,
xx
gah. i love your books and blog and mean people are mean.x
I got a funny but awful at the same time comment on Tumblr. I posted a project and someone called it (with swear words in the public comment) a PDDIY (they actually made up this word which is the funny part: please don't do it yourself). I responded that I had always called those "Home Depot Projects" (because every home improvement project I've done hasn't gone as planned). But I tried to turn something awful into something publicly funny. But sometimes you can't do that because there is nothing funny at all about the comment. And yes, those comments nag at me until my family tells me I'm way to sensitive and there are people on the internet who just want to stir up trouble and be mean – like it's their purpose in life. Now I think I'll use PDDIY when I do a project that is messed up!
I think that most people ARE able to look away when something is not their cup of tea, and it sounds like maybe you really ARE this persons cup-of-tea – SO much so that maybe they wish they were YOU. Or wish they thought of it first. Maybe they think they are more deserving??I think that snarky comments are born from jealousy. It sounds to me like this person must be very jealous or they would not be spending any time on it… Don't let it play on your mind miss Pip. You are lovely xo
The reality is in life there is always going to ying and yang. Happily except the yang because it will bring more ying, if you know what I mean 😉
Love ya work Pip, keep it up!
Bah! It's funny how these people are always anonymous! If you're going to say your piece at least put your bloody name to it! That said, it irks me no end that people are always putting others down. I admire anyone that gives things a go. And I admire you! If I was even half as good as you I'd feel pretty rad! xx
It seems a bit over the top to send hate mail. If you don't like something – don't read it/look at it! Hate mail says more about the frustrations and state of mind of the person who sent it than the person who receives it.
I was on fb when you were posting the letter you got and I was impressed with how kind you were being when it had just happened. It was amazing!
But I don't really understand the whole 'artistically challenged' thing being an insult. Your books are instructional for people who need help to make awesome things! We all need help to do certain things, we're all 'challenged' in this way! It's really a compliment to you to be able to guide someone make something they might not have been able to! Yes, I think it's a good thing to have a challenged audience! 🙂
Trolls can occasionally leap off the screen and do real damage. Not good at all. It can make it hard to then engage online because of fear.
Mostly they are just sad and silly
I got a bad comment from a troll after posting on an Art Fair forum, asking a question about tents for festivals. She reamed me a good one, saying I should go to "hillbillyshacks.com" for what I needed, and suggesting I get a real job to spare everyone from the "sock puppets or whatever it is" I was gonna sell…
I responded by apologizing for causing her any inconvenience, and acknowledged my naiveté by mentioning that other crafters and artists were usually much nicer than she was, and my humble and honest question was directed toward them.
And then the other members of the forum pretty much trounced her. En Masse. It was impressive. They were like a pack of wolves protecting their young. I was completely flattered, and incredibly vindicated. Then they proceeded to offer excellent advice!
As you know, for every bad apple there are dozens of delicious apple pies, apple sauces, apple butters, and baked confections and caramel treats waiting to be made from the same bushel. Without her negative comment, I may not have received the wonderful guidance that I ended up with.
Sometimes, within a strong enough community, a bad comment can bring out the best of what everyone has to offer simply through indignation at the affronting poster. When they're at their worst, sometimes it's for the best.
Hang in there, Pip. You're awesome. Keep up the good work!
It makes me cranky that people do that. What kind of person does that? But I'm so glad you are cool with stuff and perked up quickly. And I liked your post. 🙂
Pip – we all love you and think you are fab. There are lots of lots who love what you do . Keep Spreading that sunshine
Freud defined hate as 'an ego state that wishes to destroy the source of its unhappiness'.
Maybe our mums were right all those years ago about the mean girls : 'they're only jealous'?
It is true that the more popular and public you are, the more likely you are to get this stuff.
I follow your blog because a very good friend of mine, whom you don't know, said "Pip LIncolne is fantastic, you should have a look at her shop/blog". She got this information from going to your shop and looking at your blog, and she is a very good judge of fantastic people! And she was right.
Trolls are disgusting because they are deliberately unkind and kindness is the most important quality we can have. It must be very bad for their souls.
Keep up the good stuff.
I guess the thing that worries me is (I was thinking about this on the way to pick Ari up from school) whether we are sort of silencing each other with all this trolling. If there is a lot of trolling, that is… and I think there might be. My friend Yvonne pointed me to the Sarah Wilson piece after I wrote this today. http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2011/10/i-got-rid-of-comments-so-i-could-hear-the-conversation/#more-3201
And I know that some great ladies have dropped off the net due to nasty stuff. Is this what we want? I mean do we want to force moderation and censorship on each other? Surely it is MUCH easier just to click away and forget the people who are not our cup of tea.
I guess we shouldn't really HAVE to learn to deal with trolls… but if we DO have to we need to try VERY hard to let the trolling wash over us and down the drain never to be seen again. We must not think too much about it (as I HAVE done!)
The comment by Flamehair is absolutely right. I think the main emotion that causes people to act so rudely is jealousy.
Makes me wonder though…do some people ever leave schoolyard nastiness behind them? I guess not. Bit of a shame really.
Hey Pip! I think you're AMAZING, TALENTED and INSPIRATIONAL! That is all 🙂
yup. via a snarky comment on pinterest.
got it out of my system (nicey!) in this blog post:
http://dee-construction.blogspot.com/2011/10/why-chair.html
i have an overwhelming need to justify myself when questioned. must learn to move on. i like your attitude
Dee
I too just feel so sad for them.
I haven't been blogging long, but I've had an anonymous troll comment on just about every post…. I'm pretty sure it's the same person, but you never know. They usually end their comment saying how unholy I am and how I'm going to hell because I don't have christ in my life….. except I've never once talked about faith on my blog. So weird.
Wow! What a situation to deal with and good on you for doing it so maturely…I know that would have upset me too.
You know what I think? I think there are quite a lot of haters out there – not just hate-mail writers but haters that like to put others down or spread lies or get involved in slandery-gossip, haters that like to be all passive agressive or pick at every little thing and ones that like to judge others because they think they know more, when in fact when they only know a small part of the entire story. They go about trying their hardest to make life miserable for others because, truth be told, they are a bit jealous and a bit miserable themselves and it makes them feel better to run others down or feel they are in a better position than what others might be in.
I have to say that I have never run into these sorts of people in my own bloggy sphere (everyone has always been just delightful and I am so appreciative of it!) but I do see the type regularly in other bloggy spheres. And, very unfortunately, ALL the time in the real world. But you are right to turn the entire thing on it's head by being positive. And in the real world, if I'm feeling confident enough and feel someone is out of line enough, I call them on their behaviour. Trolls never, ever expect you to approach them and make them answer for why they might have said or done something nasty – in fact they are counting on you not to! It may not make them like you (which doesn't matter because did they originally anyway?) but it will teach them that you have more self respect than they thought and not to mess with you.
Gracious…I think I just wrote a mini saga on this…but it's a topic close to my heart! Thanks Pip, for the opportunity to vent a little and share what I have learnt in the past ! 🙂
I haven't received any toll mail but I am also not very internet famous. I think it goes with… the more popular you are, the more crappy some people will be to you. But I think you have handled it well by not letting it upset you too much. It's a sign that you've really made it! hahaha
Dear gorgeous and lovely Pip,
Please know that for every little, unhappy, small minded Troll on the internet there are hundreds of others just like us that absolutely LOVE you, your kind spirit, your books and your creative world.
Whenever anyone has anything negative to say to another person – it is all to do with how they feel about themselves and never about you!
We, on the other hand were soooo inspired by your book 'Meet me at Mikes' (the first craft book that we EVER bought!) that we went out and bought ourselves sewing machines and have indulged our passion for fabric and all things handmade ever since.
So stay fabulous and keep inspiring us.
We LOVE your work.
xoxo catherine & vanita
I've never received a negative/troll comment, my blog only has a teeny readership. But i can imagine that it could be pretty soul destroying to receive a critical comment.
I personally would never think to send someone a comment telling them i think they're silly, or i don't like what they wear or anything mean for that matter. If i don't like a blog, i simply stop reading. There's no need to be nasty and like you say, what an effort to go to just to be mean to someone!
But as you said too, it also helps you remember the pretty rad things about yourself. And there's lots of radness to be had over there at mikes!
I enjoy reading your blog Pip, i also say thanks for that magical troll picture! It takes me back to being 12 years old and styling my trolls hair in crazy ways.
bf x
Oh. Ickky bad troll. I bet they wear a nappy to bed and pick their nose too. Uck. Bad image.
Ok forget the troll. They are lame, they were even too lame to hand-write it. Let's go back to the good ole days where hate mail was handwritten!!
I admit to being lame.
I was lame in High School. I called my ex-best friend DogFace for a whole year… aren't I bad. So bad.So lame. And now as an adult, whenever I see her (about once or twice a year), I apologies profusely!!
Hmm. I wonder if confession is good for the soul….
I wonder if trolls existed when the Golden Hands books came out? Did the authors get snarky letters along the lines of "Oh my god you are so unoriginal! You are totally ripping off the 1920 Good Housewife Almanac!" Trolls are usually just very insecure people who lack the courage to put their name to their spite, so I give them little consideration. I just pat myself on the back for never being like that, and always trying to put happiness out into the world.
I write a vegan cooking blog so it is troll town…. hilariously enough ALL the negative comments come from other VEGANS. It seems to come in waves… periodically I shut down my anon comments… and once I'm over it I open them up again. It's funny… once I shut down anon comments all the trolling goes away. Boring.