So you’ve posted something on your Facebook page and it’s been a point of contention or misunderstood? Maybe there’s a comment war going on? Maybe people fiercely disagree with what you’ve posted? Ugh. Or they’re just being super nasty/weird? That can be so upsetting and give you a bit of a knot in your stomach for days.
Here’s some advice on how I deal with this kind of thing – across my own and other social media accounts I work with.
1. People have misunderstood my update (or not even bothered to read it) and are leaving nasty comments.
Pop into the comments calmly and respond, explaining that if people take the time to read what you’ve written, they’ll get a better idea of your view. And thank them politely for theirs. Be sure to delete any comments that contain expletives or are personal attacks. You can also explain that ‘expletives and personal attacks are not welcome on my page’.
Having a constant, calm, non-defensive presence in your comments really helps to reboot the tone. So hang around – but don’t ‘join in’ with the debate. You’ve already said your piece – so be present, but don’t debate/defend in the comments. Be the bigger person. Think about how someone like Seth Godin or the Dalai Lama would handle this stuff. Calm, rational, kind, logical – no matter what.
2. People are complaining about my blog/business publicly on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram.
Respond to those complaints with something like ‘Thanks for taking the time to let us know/state your view. We’d love you to email us at xxx so that we can talk this though’. Short, sweet, not buying into it in a public arena and yet respectful, open and proactive. Again, keep your tone super calm and avoid being defensive or expanding on the problem.
3. Above all, do not panic!
No matter what’s happened – don’t panic. Don’t respond in the heat of the moment. Don’t delete things to try and ‘cover up’ a problem. Don’t get emotional (or at least don’t let followers see you get emotional – save that for your best friend or your Mum), rather take a step back and think about how to deal with this in a SUPER professional manner. If in doubt, slow things down and think it through. That’s not to say you should ignore the problem – you should definitely respond promptly – but respond thoughtfully and professionally. No matter what.
Getting emotional, trying to make the ‘trolls’ understand you are a person with feelings, talking about your health or responding angrily are all on the DO NOT DO list. Just don’t. Calm. Non-defensive. Open. Professional. That’s where you are coming from.
4. You posted something you shouldn’t have
For whatever reason, you might have put something up that you really wish you hadn’t. Perhaps you realised this pretty quickly, or perhaps other people have taken issue with the update. If you’ve done this, it’s OK to delete that thing, BUT you need to post a subsequent update apologising and explaining that you made an error of judgement and you’re sorry. It’s totally okay to do that. Just don’t go into too much detail in your apology – keep it SUPER SHORT and sincere. Then move on. Don’t hang about in the comments dragging the whole thing out. Own it, apologise, move on.
5. Other people are hijacking your page/profile with nastiness
Again, having a calm, non-defensive, good humoured presence in the comments is your first approach. If this is not working, consider what’s fuelling the outrage, and whether you really want that kind of content on your page/profile. If you DO and you’re happy to monitor the comments vigilantly, then fine. If you are not able to keep a close eye on your comments (thus able to delete anything offensive) then you might want to consider removing whatever’s fuelling the nasty. If you do delete something that’s inflamed people, it’s important to explain that ‘when I posted the update about XXX I wasn’t aware that it would fuel such heated/nasty comments. I’m not comfortable with that on my page and I want to encourage a safe, supportive community so I’ve deleted that update. Thanks for understanding.’
As you can see sincerity, calm and a TOTAL lack of defensiveness/emotional retorts is the best way to shake this stuff off.
But hopefully you won’t have to deal with this stuff! Fingers crossed!