Well. Yes. I am a crafty person and a writer and a lover of fine tunes and delicious food. I am also the partner to my boyfriend of a zillion years. But apart from all that stuff, I am also a parent. I like being a parent. It keeps me on the edge of my seat, kind of like standing in a wind tunnel and having your eye-lids blown inside out. That’s what parenting is like. I like that bracing, sockety feeling. I do.
Because I like to stay informed and fresh, I’ve been reading lots of stuff about being a parent on le internet over the last year. There is stuff EVERYWHERE. Everyone is an expert. Heck, even me. It’s good, of course, whole blogs devoted to how to be better at this Mum and Dad thing. I know that it takes a lot of work to write those blogs. And I know lots of people really want to know about how to improve and have happier times with their kids. I know that. I respect it. I do. I want to know that too.
The thing is, though, when did content become content? And is it all really so tricky? And can’t we simplify things so that the family content (adj) is more natural than the family content (noun)?!
content : adjective
happy enough with what one has or is; not desiring something more or different; satisfied
content : noun
all that is dealt with in a course or area of study, work of art, discussion, etc.
Please don’t string me up and proclaim your love for parenting sites and all that is good about them. I love them too. I don’t read them a lot, but I think they provide a really important lifeline during doubtful or tricky times. Or just during every day times too.
What I am saying is let’s remember how to be content (adj) as Mums and Dads. Without so much of the content (noun). Let’s assume we know what we are doing, even without the content (noun), most of the time! Let’s turn off the computer a bit more and sit on the couch, just doodling about with the people we live with. Paint each other’s toenails hideous mouldy colours. Check each other for nits. Share a cookie. That kind of thing.
Being really great at this parenting stuff is not about competing or being the world’s best parent. It’s not about following the footsteps of other bloggers. It is not about wearing the cutest top-knot and most lovely cardigan. It’s not about posting pictures of amazing things that you have made or done. It is not about perfect decorating or perfect diet. It’s just about simple stuff. Stuff that you might not even blog about, isn’t it? Real stuff. Stuff like :
Tickling
Drawing silly pictures
Watching something that kids and grownups BOTH love, together
Talking during bath time about random stuff
Cubbies from blankets
Listening
Mistakes
Reading books your KID loves.
Dressing up
Hanging out doing not much
Making weird snacks
Laughing
Stopping for a while
And before you yawn and pin that ‘Goody Two Shoes’ medal on me again, let me tell you, that I am not an uber parent. I yell at my kids. Some days I do my best, other days I can’t be bothered. Some days I am really great. Some days I kick myself up the bum and tell myself off. Somedays I am switched on and really good at being a Mum. Some days I have my head under the pillow. Or in the computer. Or in the computer under the pillow. But the thing is, I have 3 kids, and I know the things they like the best. And it is not the cute outfits, or clever craft projects, or the serious mind-growing activities. It is not even about concentrating carefully on what you should be doing to be the best, with a furrowed brow and breath held tight. It is a bit less conscious than that, in my opinion. It is the fart jokes and the confessions and the giggling and the sunken cakes and the rained on hair-dos and the long chats and the attentiveness and the silly, truthful, messy-nice times that make things great.
That is content. What is content about for you?
xx Pip