Hello! Did you read Alex Carlton’s piece in today’s Age? It’s called The Retro Housewife and it’s all about women embracing homey things (and some of them turning their back on careers to do that.)
I’m sure there’s going to be lots of chatter about this piece. Have a read and tell me what you think. My blog gets name-checked alongside some others, so I thought I should pipe up.
Here’s my take on the new domesticity (thanks to Alex for starting such an interesting conversation!)
I am a work-at-home person. I am a partner and a mother too. I love making things and cooking things. Domestic! I squeeze this domesticity in around my jobs (I work full-time. I am the Editor of lifestyle site JustB, I write books and I write this blog too…) Give me a medal, please!
For me, doing home-y stuff is a grab at comfort, nostalgia and sanity. It’s about growing something from nothing. It’s about not always opting for convenience and learning how to do new stuff.
I think women are trying to find ways to reshape their lives, reinvent themselves post-children, become independent (perhaps through a commercially driven blog or the like) and work creativity into their days. I think that’s what this new domesticity is about.
I’m not sure this ‘home-making’ is about regressing. I think it’s more about finding the creative bits of ourselves (which may have been kept locked away due to less creative day jobs) and nurturing those bits amidst the chaos of work demands or raising small children. I also think domesticity is a comforting way of paying homage to our roots (perhaps connecting us with a grandmother or a great-aunt who was a bit home-y.)
Domesticity can be a kind of mini meditation amidst the noise of family life, rather than an oppressed surrender to the world of aprons, pink lemonade and perfect sponges. It just depends how you are coming at it. I think home-y tasks are a way to focus on the delicious or the beautiful or the comforting, when bits of our life are often far from that. It’s a kind of push at positivity, rather than a slow movement…. Or perhaps it’s a bit of both!
I agree that the so-called ‘new homemaker’ is a different breed from those who came before her… But those who came before are our Mums and Nannas and Aunties and they navigated as best they could (just as we are doing!) While I understand the need for progress, analysis and equality, I think we can do that in ways that honour the ladies who went before us.
The way I see it, I am just doing what works for me. I do the things I do because I want to do them. I am trying to live my life in a way that makes me feel good and keeps most people in my house happy. For me, it’s not about achieving more, being part of a movement or one upping other women. It’s about one-upping myself in a ‘what can I learn next?’ kind of way.
I also don’t think domesticity is an all-or-nothing choice. It’s not just for people who can afford it or have time on their hands. You can choose it, if you want. Or don’t choose it. That’s cool too.
I HAVE to work. I have to pick up dog poo. I have to wash underpants. (So does my boyfriend!) But I also HAVE to be creative to be happy, and I see some of these domestic arts as a way to do that (not the underpants, obvs!) That’s my choice. It’s not a BETTER choice, it’s just an option!
How about you? What do you think of the article? How is it for you?
x Pip
PS: I DO wonder about using the term HOUSEWIFE… Is this really where we are at? It makes me shudder. I think the editor might be trying to bait us..!
PPS: I do not include cleaning or having the tidiest house in my Favourite Home-y Things To Do list. Bleurgh.