Hallo pal! Hi!
It’s been pretty weird in these here parts. Exhausting and stressful, to be honest. The boys’ dad – my former partner – Cameron died as a result of Motor Neurone Disease earlier this month, a bit over a year after he was first diagnosed. He’d been unwell for quite some time. Naturally it’s been a confusing and sad time for us all, but especially for the boys. I don’t even know what to say about it, to be honest.
Cam and I were together from when I was 25 until a few years ago so he was a huge part of my life. We had two kiddos together. Took a heap of holidays as a family. Lived in a bunch of different houses. Ate a zillion meals. Experienced a trillion good and terrible things. But our relationship was difficult. Not all the time. Not in the beginning. But as the years went on. Eventually it just broke and the space between us clarified so many things for me. (And made me determined to form a new life for myself without a spouse.)
I was relieved when he settled down again with someone who adored him – and cared for him in his final couple of years. We want our kids’ other parent to be happy, right? I think so. Anyway, I just wanted to touch on it briefly here, because this blog has been a record of my life and it seems strange not to. Perhaps you have been in a similar situation? I think it’s called ‘disenfranchised grief’? It’s pretty impossible.
Now. On to less sad things …
I listened to the BBC Radio4 interview with Kate Bush last night and it’s a total gem. She’s as honest and refreshing and kind as she always was. She rarely gives interviews, but hearing her voice again instantly reminded me of this 1979 one with Molly Meldrum. “I just want to stick around,” Kate says and it’s fair to say she has. Under The Ivy has gone straight to the top of my wishlist.
Cooking? The budget has been tight for various grief-related reasons and the will to cook has not been super prolific. I’ve been making a LOT of soups – pumpkin soup and a favourite minestrone in particular – and also steak and rice with Korean pancakes (Max’s favourite). Last night I made the vegetable curry that I always find a comfort and had it again for breakfast with two slices of perfectly-scorched rye toast. It’s the simple things that help when things are hard, don’t you think? I’ll put the curry recipe up on Hungry Hungry Pippo ASAP.
I’ve been doing lots of reading for uni and some reading for pleasure too. I’ve started on The Wind in the Willows, reading a chapter each day. I’ve never read it before, but I saw it pop up on Slightly Foxed (which Michelle first told me about) and I thought it was time to remedy that! I’m also listening to the audiobook version of Persuasion – again a chapter a day – in readiness for the new series (which seems a bit adaptation-of-Sally-Rooney-book-ish?) People are hating it already based on the trailer, but I’m still going to give it a go.
Apart from all that, I have shingles. So that’s pretty bloody annoying on top of everything else, but also a sign that it’s time to slow down even more and edge through this crappy time with caution. I think.
With that I’m off to do the dishes and make a giant cup of tea. I really like Madame Flavour’s Melbourne Morning Blend. It’s delicious and a bit vanilla-y. A cosy cup to be sure! (I buy it at my local supermarket but my fave non-local supermarket – Leo’s – has the afternoon blend, too. I grab that and some Glick’s rye caraway bread and some smoked trout dip every time I go there!)
Sorry. I am prattling on. Love to you.
If you fancy, buy me a coffee —> https://ko-fi.com/piplincolne