Pip-Life

:: This Is Not A Mummy Blog, but….

April 4, 2011

Sheesh.  This week we have NSW Families Minster Ms Pru Goward having a really nasty dig at blonde radio-babe-with-a-babe Jackie O for feeding her baby whilst using a pedestrian crossing.  Pru compares Jackie O to Mr-Dangling-Baby himself, the late Michael Jackson.  I mean really, Pru. What the heck?

(I don’t listen to commercial radio. I don’t really know anything about Jackie O.  But I know that she is new mummy and she probably doesn’t need to be held up to such scrutiny and made to cry on air and defend her parenting skills.  Sheesh.  Poor Jackie.)

Personally, I don’t think this Pru/Jac issue needs to be talked about as much as it has been (she says, writing about it on her blog…!) because obviously Jackie O is like the majority of mothers. She loves her baby more than life itself and considers little Kitty’s safety and happiness with every breath she takes.  I think we should leave Jackie alone.  I think it’s not our business to judge her. AND I think Pru Goward should shoosh up and stop using the media to judge other nice ladies who are obviously just trying to keep their hungry babies happy, albeit in a one-armed way.

What I really DO want to talk about is the fact that some people find it so easy to judge other people.   I think it’s pretty horrible.  It seems to go something like this ::

The people you know very very well, because they are your friends, are the kind of people you would never judge, because you love them right?

The people you know less well, those you are just getting to know (or may never know) are the people who seem to be easier targets.  I guess the fact that we don’t know people very well makes us less connected to them, and thus makes it MUCH easier to criticize them.  Because they are not real people.. or something.. well, to us at least.  Because we don’t really KNOW them.

Hmph.  Don’t you think that judging someone you do not know is just a bit silly. Isn’t that just based on nastiness or envy or some other kind of mean spirited gossipyness.   Don’t you think it would be MUCH nicer to turn it all around?  How about thinking the best of them?!  How about assuming they are good people with good intentions, just like YOU?!  How about that?  Pru?  How about that?

xx Pip

PS : I once dangled a baby in my armpit, holding him in an accidental head lock, whilst breastfeeding and looking for a pen and talking on the phone.  Said baby giggled into my pit and slobbered a bit.  Judge that.  Call me MJ.

35 Comments

  • Reply alipink April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    Well said Pip! And how awesome that you can breastfeed a baby whilst walking, or presenting a radio program, or sewing (eh hem) or looking for a pen whilst talking on the phone.

  • Reply Lauren April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    I was horrified when i saw/heard/read about it earlier in the week. Poor Jackie.

    Totally agree with you on judgement, if everyone locks away their inner Judgy McJudgersons, the world will be a better place.

  • Reply meetmeatmikes April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    YES! Begone Judgy McJudgersons! Thank you Lauren! AND How about considering that your Judgy McJudgerson target is probably A LOT LIKE YOU and probably VERY NICE?! How about THAT! xxxxx

  • Reply Melissa Williams April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    I've breastfed a baby while cooking food on the stove for the family. I've also answered the door and signed for parcels, gone to the toilet, taken clothes off the line, and a million other things. I had no idea that made me a bad Mum.
    Poor Jackie, she's finally got her much longer for baby and people are criticising her parenting skills. 🙁

  • Reply Tas April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    One of our now closest friends was a casual aqcuaintance first. As an distant friend, I thought him aloof and snobby. It's the well known story- he was shy! He is one of the most generous and lovely people we know. Sadly it is easy to be judgemental. I used to take pride on how much multi-tasking I could do while breast feeding. Shame on me!

  • Reply frankly feisty April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    With my 1st baby, I was young and had no idea. Was learning as I stumbled along. All I knew is how much I loved her and wanted her to be safe and happy and well-loved and cared for. I took her for her first walk to the shops in her new pram, I took our lovely dog too. I had to go in to the teeny old milk-bar to get some milk and bread and the pram wouldn't fit, so I left it against the window where I could see it, I attached my Dog's lead to the handle. As I was at the counter paying for the milk my dog, Frank, decided he liked the look of another dog walking by and got up to follow him and as he did, he pulled the pram over On it's side and my precious bubba girl rolled out on to the footpath. I was MORTIFIED. A Nanna-type lady scooped her up as I rushed out the door. She was very kind but did tell me I was a silly duffer for tying my dog to the pram. IT NEVER entered my head it would go wrong. I was a new YOUNG Mum, tired, NO, exhausted and overwhelmed with my new all-consuming job. Thank goodness that older woman was so kind to me. Call me MJ too you big meanie, Pru.

  • Reply meetmeatmikes April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    Aw! I love that story esp the duffer-nanna bit. These things DO HAPPEN! And our babies survive! And we learn (and never forget our mistakes!!!) I think that generally we need lots of encouragement and kindness as people, not just as parents! xxx

  • Reply Amanda April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    This is the first I've heard of it. Must have been in a bit of a media blackout this week, so thanks, Pip for bringing the news :-). I had always thought that Pru Goward was quite fabulous, and am astonished and a little bit disappointed. But being the optimist and non-judgy type that I am, I wonder what is going on in Pru's life that she felt a need to point fingers at Jackie for doing something so absurdly normal as feeding her baby whilst walking down the street?
    Love your post. Judgement and criticism is not generally helpful.

  • Reply meetmeatmikes April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    I wondered that too, over on Twitter! I hope that Pru apologises to Jackie. I think that would be good.

  • Reply dee rolston April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    i stood and applauded your P.S. 🙂

  • Reply frankly feisty April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    She didn't even wake up! And was very well swaddled…but I felt so silly. And you're right, I never tied the dog to the pram/stroller again! And to this day I keep my eye put for other new Mummas who may have innocently made the same mistake!

  • Reply kirsty higgins April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    good on you jackie o for just feeding your baby when your baby needs a feed! should be more of it!

    x

  • Reply cateoh April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    GO PIP!!!

  • Reply frankly feisty April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    With my 1st baby, I was young and had no idea. Was learning as I stumbled along. All I knew is how much I loved her and wanted her to be safe and happy and well-loved and cared for. I took her for her first walk to the shops in her new pram, I took our lovely dog too. I had to go in to the teeny old milk-bar to get some milk and bread and the pram wouldn't fit, so I left it against the window where I could see it, I attached my Dog's lead to the handle. As I was at the counter paying for the milk my dog, Frank, decided he liked the look of another dog walking by and got up to follow him and as he did, he pulled the pram over On it's side and my precious bubba girl rolled out on to the footpath. I was MORTIFIED. A Nanna-type lady scooped her up as I rushed out the door. She was very kind but did tell me I was a silly duffer for tying my dog to the pram. IT NEVER entered my head it would go wrong. I was a new YOUNG Mum, tired, NO, exhausted and overwhelmed with my new all-consuming job. Thank goodness that older woman was so kind to me. Call me MJ too you big meanie, Pru.

  • Reply Inesbrenneman April 25, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    Ha what would she have said if she'd seen me breastfeeding in the aisles of Safeway or frying up some homemade chips and feeding at the same time. Honestly, women should feed anywhere. Why should we be confined to feeding in smelly parenting rooms, I wouldn't eat a sandwich in there yet I'm meant to feed a baby in one. Ahhh ahh feed where ever you are comfortable and you should not be held up for public scrutiny by a minister for families, Shame on you Pru.

  • Reply Creme_egg April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    It's silly, they should leave her alone. I remember feeding whilst doing many things, trying to do housework, answering the phone etc . . .they are just being horrible!!

  • Reply Tia April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Ditto – I hadn't heard about this. And ditto, loved your P.S – Gold! My wriggly 6 month old slipped out of my grasp only yesterday, to find himself wedged between my crotch and my arms. He, too, giggled. He quickly sucked his dummy back in to his mouth pft, pft, pft…

    New mums need support, kindness and encouragement from other women, not our tut-tutting and finger-wagging. Shame on you Pru. Hurrah to you Pip.

  • Reply ThisIsEmilyKate April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Pru needs to get out into the world or open a history book, or watch a NatGeo doc and see that in non-western countries women do all sorts of things while breastfeeding. Even manual labour in fields. Or fishing in boats. And as we can see women manage to do a fair few things while breastfeeding right here in Australia too!
    I'm disappointed in Pru. I had an idea she was supposed to be some sort of feminist. No fair piling on Jackie O. Some other windsock had a go at her recently for going back to work 'too soon' after her baby was born. Both of them need to apologise to Jackie for making her cry.

  • Reply meetmeatmikes April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    They are probably too busy telling her off for bottle feeding. Oh the horror! Sheesh. Bottle fed or boob fed : just do your best and things will be a-okay, I reckon!

  • Reply Therese April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Pip you are genius at being able to bring this down to bite-sized pieces.You are right we tend to find it easier to judge those we believe/want to be 'other'.This goes for countries looking across borders are other countries. I think we believe we operate out of good motives or a in the right – why can't we think that of others? Hmm goes back to the crumpets last week. I wouldn't eat the last one, so would expect that others would do the same (needless to say I am often disappointed!).

  • Reply emjie79 April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    I have discovered since my first pregnancy that complete strangers think it okay to ‘criticise’ or ‘educate’ me.
    Damned if we do. Damned if we don't.
    As for the breast feeding issue. I don't understand why women are condemned for breast feeding, especially when the critic is a woman. Some people just do my nut in sometimes.
    PS: Oops! I thought she was breast feeding. But you know what, breast feeding, bottle feeding, it all comes to the same point doesn't it. It doesn't make sense to attack someone when they're feeding a baby.

  • Reply willywagtail April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    obviously the person doesn't know that breastfeeding a baby involves holding it which is what you need to do hen crossing a street what the baby does with that time should not be in question.

  • Reply meetmeatmikes April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Any feeding of an infant does, doesn't it?! Unless you have some weird machine to do it, and that would be 'wrong' too. (She was actually bottle feeding in this case, too!) xxx

  • Reply ThisIsEmilyKate April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Eugh *eyeroll* Pru's comments are quite a worry because she's the Families minister for NSW. Apart from it just being unfair to target Jackie, there are lots of new mums who don't even have the resources and support that Jackie has. Who Pru, supposedly, should show some concern for. She hasn't just insulted one mum. There would be lots of mums feeling a stab in the guts hearing what Pru thinks is wrong with Jackie's parenting. NOONE is helped by her comments.
    LOL, if we judge the judgers, does that cancel the judgement out?

  • Reply Paula222 April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    pru, what a silly old right wing thing. really and truly, old enough to know better. she should take a casserole around to jackie's and apologise…

  • Reply Claire Blackie April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    I just feel terrible for Jac O, how horrible that she has to go through the judgement in public, and how horrible Pru and make her cry and feel bad. I did see and very angry Lisa Wilkinson stand up for Jac O this morning and puffed out my cheast in support too!

  • Reply cath @ chunkychooky April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Nice one Pip. It's an easy target isn't it ? a new mum? play fair Pru, I am disappointed in her.

  • Reply Angela April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Well said Pip! I think that it's important to always try to be kind.
    xo

  • Reply rachel April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    I havent heard any of this story but i think from what you have written here, wow! one handed breast feeding while crossing the street… that deserves some serious mama props …

  • Reply Danya April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Big cheers for you Pip. I agree wholeheartedly. xxx

  • Reply Pigs & Bishops April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Hear, hear! I don't see how feeding while crossing the road is unsafe – it's not like she'd need an arm free to look both ways. Not very supportive of families, Ms Goward.

    I'm still getting the hang of feeding and multitasking (my milk just came in today) but I can't see how you'd avoid it. This afternoon involved a quick tactical one-handed cardie draping so that I didn't have to open the front door completely topless when a seedy-looking man came to deliver some flowers – all a bit unnerving!

  • Reply meetmeatmikes April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Bottlefeeding….. but still… props ahoy!

  • Reply Pigs & Bishops April 25, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Hear, hear! I don't see how feeding while crossing the road is unsafe – it's not like she'd need an arm free to look both ways. Not very supportive of families, Ms Goward.

    I'm still getting the hang of feeding and multitasking (my milk just came in today) but I can't see how you'd avoid it. This afternoon involved a quick tactical one-handed cardie draping so that I didn't have to open the front door completely topless when a seedy-looking man came to deliver some flowers – all a bit unnerving!

  • Reply Jemima Saunders April 21, 2011 at 8:09 AM

    I remember a story about when my cousin sat down on a bench in an open air type mall thing to breastfeed her newborn baby. A man came and sat down on the bench also and said "Do you mind!". My cousin replied, "No i don't mind that you sit there while i feed my baby, that's just fine thanks for asking!"

    I still love that one..

    And baby slings, once i had my newborn son asleep in a sling whilst i was in the supermarket and a strange lady started stalking me round the store. She started abusing me saying i was suffocating him, she chased me out to the car…very odd people thinking they have the right to voice their bits and bobs on everything…

  • Reply Gillian April 5, 2011 at 1:31 AM

    I never heard a thing about it. Maybe she was just so grateful the kid was ON she wasn't going to stop for anything.

    I could breastfeed the baby and get up, answer phone or go to the kitchen make a sandwich.

    Pru can get bent.

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