Craft For The Soul Creativity Pip-Life

:: The One Where Your Book Comes Out And Your Realise You’ve Been Holding Your Breath For A Few Months

April 24, 2015

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“Do you ever have those days where your heart just feels glow-y and warm because you have good people in your life and a supportive bunch behind you (even people you have never met?!) I’m having one of those super-feels days. Thanks so much for helping me with stuff, guys.”  – Actual update from my Facebook today

 

Do you know what? I have been feeling a bit freaked out because my book was coming out. I’ve been feeling panicked, in fact. It’s like some sneaky, quite serious and in fact, debilitating book-related anxiety snuck its way into most corners of my life. Ugh. I didn’t really realise it until today, when I got to talk about my book in detail for the first time.

The thing is, I loved writing this book and it’s really special to me. I love the process of making books so much and while the book’s birth is wonderful, it’s the chance to say stuff that makes sense to other people who means the most to me.

So. I’ve only just today realised I’ve been feeling really weird about it finally being out there in the world. I’ve been holding my breath and feeling the pressure of coming under scrutiny creeping closer and closer. It’s been a real weight on my shoulders/brain. It’s part the idea of my work being exposed to everyone and it’s part me being exposed to everyone that has me wigging out. But of course that’s totally silly. It’s not everyone, is it? It’s just the people who are buying or reading my book. And it doesn’t really matter if it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, either. Not everything can be and that’s okay.

Last night I lay in bed after a pretty weird day, I read my finished, bound book from beginning to end for the first time. (I’d read it lots of times before, but it was just under a year ago.This was the first time I’d read the ready-for-readers, embossed title, hard-cover edition).

It was pretty funny to be tucking into something I’d written myself. I kept yelling out to the kids (in an insecure, maniacal manner) – “I’m in bed reading my book! My book that is actually my book! Because I wrote it! I’m doing that! It’s quite funny in parts!’

I nodded my way through, laughed at my own jokes like an idiot and shut the final page with a snap, feeling that I’d done the best I could do.

Today, as I was talking about my book to Steve and Alicia and Declan on the radio, I felt pretty proud because (granted they are a VERY kind audience) they understood the tone and message exactly. Not only that, I have some pretty important things to say and I’m so happy that I’m getting a chance to say them in my own way. I feel really strongly about the stuff that’s special to me.

As I was riding home on the tram, with my book tucked in my bag, watching the hard rubbish on Nicholson Street whizzing by, I felt really blooming satisfied and lucky and happy with myself. For the first time in the whole book process I felt like I’d achieved what I set out to do.

I’d done my best work.

This afternoon I’m pretty overwhelmed with the fact that everything is okay. I’m feeling less of a panic-stricken, anxiety ridden naked person and instead, I feel a lot like this:

“Do you ever have those days where your heart just feels glow-y and warm because you have good people in your life and a supportive bunch behind you (even people you have never met?!) I’m having one of those super-feels days. Thanks so much for helping me with stuff, guys.”

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PS: I’m telling you this in case you ever feel this way too. There’s safety in numbers! Maybe you’ve felt like this before?

20 Comments

  • Reply Hanne June 17, 2015 at 8:15 PM

    Will the book “Craft for the Soul” be available as an e-book?

  • Reply Pia April 28, 2015 at 8:05 PM

    Awesome job Pip
    That sense of of overwhelm can be so insidious as to be almost invisible. It is a HUGE deal for you to have worked through all the steps to be published, including all the ones you may have created for yourself quite unintentionally.
    I have ordered my copy and can’t wait to have it in my hands.
    Yee-har!
    <3
    Pia

  • Reply Cate April 27, 2015 at 9:50 AM

    What a beautiful and honest post – as usual! What an achievement, another book! I just need to wait til the bank account bumps up again and then I’ll be rushing out to grab it, can’t wait. Congratulations…

  • Reply Helen April 26, 2015 at 6:24 AM

    I’m so pleased to hear you’ve gotten over your anxiety and are feeling really pleased with yourself. Brave you. What you’ve achieved is amazing. It’s not everyone that would have the gumption to write a book and the multiple talents that it takes to create, and maintain, an amazing online space that people love to visit. Go you!

  • Reply Lisa@RandomActsOfZen April 25, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    What a wonderful reason to be feeling like this, Pip! Congratulations on your new book.

  • Reply Zanni April 25, 2015 at 2:01 PM

    Pip, that’s all so exciting. It’s so great you feel proud and satisfied with all your hard work. My own book (finally) comes out this September with Hardie Grant Egmont/Little Hare. I am beyond excited but also nervous. What will people think? I have been talking about this impending publication for over two years… I wrote it nearly 3 years ago. Feels like such a build up. I guess I’ll have to wait and see. Can’t wait to find a copy of your book. Xx

  • Reply marina April 25, 2015 at 10:08 AM

    crumpits hot hot hot with lashing of butter and vegimite…. yum

  • Reply Karen April 24, 2015 at 11:16 PM

    Don’t you love it when a good plan comes together. After such a long wait and something so special to you, no wonder you were a bit anxious! You deserve to be proud of yourself x

  • Reply Kate @ One Small Life April 24, 2015 at 10:32 PM

    “It’s quite funny in parts!” Oh, Pip. You are quite funny in parts. Love this post, this little peek into the creativefreak-out, this honesty. I’m so pleased you are feeling warm and glowy now, you should! It must be amazing to have produced something so REAL. Well done. Congratulations. I hope these lovely feelings last and last. x

  • Reply Ruth April 24, 2015 at 9:53 PM

    Oh, I felt exactly like that the night before my first solo art exhibition opened. Naked and a bit sick in the stomache, so to speak. Up till then almost no one in my circle of family and friends realised just what I’d been busy with for the previous two years. Will never forget that horrible feeling. All turned out wonderfully, though, just like you and your book, Pip! Can’t wait to read it. Congratulations!

  • Reply Jane @ Shady Baker April 24, 2015 at 9:24 PM

    Congratulations Pip…I cannot wait to see this x

  • Reply Julia April 24, 2015 at 8:44 PM

    Congratulations Pip! I bought the book for my daughter’s birthday (today) I’m keen to get my own copy and start blogging about it 🙂

  • Reply JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter) April 24, 2015 at 7:14 PM

    Yay! Congratulation and what a wonderful way to feel. x

  • Reply Kate April 24, 2015 at 6:56 PM

    It arrived today!!!! Yay. Can’t wait to tuck into it. I can’t imagine how it must feel to put a part of yourself out into the world to be scrutinized by others who don’t know you. That takes real courage. Go girl.

  • Reply Nettie April 24, 2015 at 6:50 PM

    Pip.
    Huzzah to how you were feeling on the tram, with your book in your bag.
    Huzzah to laughing at your wit and the snap of the last page.
    You put do much GOOD into the world, and I’m stoked that you feel pleased as punch with yourself today.
    Long may it continue.
    And by the way, I think you say your important stuff in a really cool, clever way. Yes. You do.
    Well done Pip!

  • Reply Rachael April 24, 2015 at 6:29 PM

    Oh Pip! I’m so happy for you. I cannot wait to get my hands on your book. I’m going to make the hell out of that crochet blanket. I love your patterns. I’m the one who used your patterns to teach myself to crochet down in Tassie. I’ve just finished another cheery wave blanket, can’t wait to make my new bubba one of your new designs x

  • Reply Claire April 24, 2015 at 6:21 PM

    So where can we buy a copy? Congratulations!!! Cant wait to read it.

    • Reply Meet Me At Mikes April 24, 2015 at 6:37 PM

      Thank you! Just click the links to the right of this post if you want to buy a copy or see more. xx

  • Reply Maryke Johnstone April 24, 2015 at 5:29 PM

    Oh Pip your book is awesome! (Although I haven’t read it all yet, but every other book that I have of yours is awesome, and you are awesome, so it is a given really, isn’t it?!) xx

  • Reply Edie April 24, 2015 at 5:27 PM

    Great job Pip. I’ve felt like that like when handing in an essay in the past or teaching a class. I think I’ve prepared really well and often think I’m totally hilarious but then get the anxiety of wahhhh maybe it’s not that good. Maybe I’m not that funny! I have a thing about being funny even in potentially serious situations! This may be a flaw!!!
    I hope you’ve had a lovely day and a crumpet or something and are feeling jolly pleased with yourself. Bah to the anxiety over it now you can just grin like the Cheshire cat 🙂

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