I was thinking over the weekend about how things are going for me and where I am up to in life. I was thinking about the things I say no to, too. For the record, I say no to a lot of stuff. It’s not because I hate doing the stuff. More, it’s because I like being home and with my gang. I like a quieter, less noisy approach to life.

I am starting to think that my way of managing work and life comes down to the restorative powers of home and saying no A LOT. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t feel like I am missing out or anything because saying no to some things means saying yes to home. And home is a favourite thing of mine (as are the people who live there with me.)

Home is where I feel myself the most (!) and it’s where I get to think about the things I really want out of life too. It’s where I take stock and let ideas fill up the quiet.

While we’re often encouraged to grab every opportunity and teeter out on the wire of achieving more-more-more, I think that it’s a great idea to steady yourself, step back, quiet down, prioritise your time carefully and choose the people you love when it makes sense – even without a tangible ‘excuse’.

I also think it’s great to avoid saying yes out of obligation, when you can, with no good reason other than wanting to feel/be at home.

Sometimes this might make things a little uncomfy.  Things might seem to progress more slowly, people and places might SEEM to pass you by. But – when you step back and take in the whole view – the restorative powers of being true-to-yourself, quiet times and having time to breathe seems to pay dividends in terms of happiness, creativity and productivity.

Ah. Just writing that last sentence makes me feel super content.

How about you? Are you the quiet life type?

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  1. Pip, you know I’m only just learning that quiet and home time keep me energised. I have anxiety and at tines feel paralised by my own mind racing, let alone racing around, going to work, going out, socialising, seeing friends and family. It gets exhausting. Saying ‘no’ is liberating and although people’s life changes and yes we miss out on things here and there, overall everything stays pretty much the same. Sitting around in my house pants or no pants, watering my plants, crafting, cooking, laying on the couch with a good book or movie- YES! it feel freakin awesome. I think Melbournites are especially bad at switching off the endless invites, must see events and visiting new places to eat and drink. Really, as long as I’m around the people I love, or at least they are coming home soonish, I’m happy to stay home and relish in the quiet.

      • Meet Me At Mikes

      • 4 years ago

      I think doing all the things can sometimes stop us from knowing ourselves, to be honest!! Doing less means the things we do choose to do are done better, too! x

    • Judith

    • 4 years ago

    Pip I love being at home especially when I have the house to myself, not often though . I only work part time and I don’t know when my friends that work full time and are very social have any down time.No wonder they cry poor and complain about being tired all the time. It’s the quiet life for me.

    • Sarah

    • 4 years ago

    Yay Pip! Exactly. Huzzah for making the choice to find quiet and calm occasionally amid the hurly-burly busy that most of us run on. I swing between busy-busy extrovert and needing a night in with cats, ugg boots and pizza. I think the quiet times let me do busy better, and the busy lets me appreciate the calm more. We need both, and everyone needs a different mix of both. The important thing is paying attention to what feels right for you. Wonderful post…thankyou for sharing 🙂 x

  2. At last someone has said it! And why does it seem so radical!? This is a wonderful post Pip. I feel exactly the same way but spent a number of years feeling like a weirdo(and guilty) because I loved home so much. It ‘s where I feel nurtured and where I can do my creative work and of course where I can be myself with my loved ones. I just can’t see the point in running around ragged for the sake of it. And yes, saying no is uncomfy….how to explain you just want to be quiet! x

  3. I swing between the quiet life and the busy, bustling life. I like both, in good measure. The latter has started to take its toll though and I have found already that the obligations of the start of this year are just that, obligations. I have to do them. I didn’t commit to them, they fell on me from previous commitments that were old and tired. Sometimes that’s just the way it is. You didn’t say yes, and you didn’t say no, so you’re left with loose ends. I hope I can tie them up neatly and get on with it. I feel like they’re holding me back.

    • Gabby

    • 5 years ago

    Oh Pip, BOOM you have hit the nail on the head! This could not be more true for me at the moment and explain exactly what I too have been doing lately, much to the surprise of many people. I actually think I might be evolving hehe!! Thanks so much for sharing ,)

  4. I love saying NO to stuff. I’ve started approaching people I want to work with rather than taking any old job that comes my way. So much nicer. But then, of course, I’m finally able to do that. It’s taken a while.

    • Pia

    • 5 years ago

    I am a bear,
    and it’s Winter all year round.

  5. Oh Pip, I’m so glad I read this. I’m trying to do everything at the moment and I know if I don’t start to say “no”, I will burn out. So I took a social media break for a few days and actually had a holiday. It’s helped me come back with a clearer head. Zoe xx

  6. Definitely definitely agree 100%. Last weekend I said no to 4/5 things I was invited to for no reason other than I just wanted to be at home with the kids! I felt bad at first but that passed quickly! Thanks for sharing this lovely Pip, helps to remember we are all in this together!

  7. I am the biggest homebody I know. To the point where I actually wonder if I’m becoming really, really boring and perhaps should get out more. But it is where I feel happiest, most content and creative. I very much like my own company and that of my family. And as I get older it’s the place I most want to be.

  8. You seem to have a knack for putting things out there at just the right time (for me, and for others, clearly), Pip. I am enjoying the quiet life this week after a week of travels, and when people invite me to do things, I just want to say no, for no ‘real reason’ than that I just want to be home in my trackies. Sometimes it feels anti-social, but time at home, time to think, ponder, create, take stock of where you’re at is precious and oh so important. It’s easy to feel guilty about it, as if it’s an indulgence, but we shouldn’t hey. Thanks for the reminder to embrace a quiet life!

  9. I love being home. I feel most like myself, I can work quietly and creatively and I don’t feel that I am missing out at all. I love how home feels spacious.

  10. I totally agree Pip! Since I started to collect happiness in the ordinary I feel so much more alive!

    • Annie

    • 5 years ago

    I think the joy of pottering, wool gathering, and loitering at home are totally under rated. Being at home gives me time to find myself again after a busy week out in the world. I get to reconnect with my space ( and my stuff), and, dress like a complete dag ????.

  11. I am most definitely the quiet life type and I’m getting better and better at carving that out for myself. FOMO is a NOGO for me. I don’t feel it one bit. x

  12. oh yes, I so agree. I love staying home and pottering around. There’s nothing wrong with a quiet life I say!

  13. Quiet is nice. Home is lovely. I couldn’t do if all day, every day, but I need that quiet chill space. I love to be with my family, consolidating our little unit., especially as the kids are now adult and almost adult. I love seeing them having their own lives but I want them to know this is the place where they will always be home, physically and emotionally. And that can’t be achieved if we do not reserve time to be together.

  14. “I also think it’s great to avoid saying yes out of obligation, when you can, with no good reason other than wanting to feel/be at home.”

    Bingo, so true! More and more I realise being home is restorative, after all isn’t this what we’re working hard for ‘our haven’

    • Kate

    • 5 years ago

    As I’m getting older I find I dislike “doing” more and more. I love to just potter to my own time schedule and do my own thing. I used to love being at home, but not so much anymore. This place just isn’t right for me anymore, I don’t want to be here, but at the same time I don’t want to be out being busy either. I feel as though nowhere is my place anymore. I don’t like it! I’m hoping this will pass, we live out of town and have teenagers, hence so much of my time is spent driving them to work, school or their social lives. I feel guilty if I say no, so I’m always trying to fit my life into the snippets of time between catering to their lives. I really hope once we are through this stage that I will find my passion for our house again and I’ll have the time, money and energy to make it home again. Sorry to be a negative nancy, but I feel better for getting that off my chest.

      • sue

      • 5 years ago

      Kate I went through this when my kids were teenagers too. Its a stage when everyone elses lives seem to take priority. I remember realising once when they had friends over that I had no place to sit and knit! I had to go to bed! Since then they’ve grown up, and I am able to stretch out again at home in a different way, It is such a different stage of life from when the kids were small and cute but life is fluid and we move forward. Don’t worry, this limbo will pass and your home will take a lovely fresh shape! Hang in there!

        • Kate

        • 5 years ago

        Thanks Sue, I needed to hear that. I’ve been hoping that it will be the case. It’s always helpful to hear from someone further along this journey. It gives hope.

          • Meet Me At Mikes

          • 5 years ago

          You guys are great. x

  15. I’m so glad that it’s not just me. I sooo love being at home, and alone too. I love when everyone’s gone to school and work and it’s just me and the dog at home with the chooks and the guinea-pig. Everything else seems so noisy. I thought I had become a middle-aged homebody, and it seems I have. I’m content with that!

    • cate

    • 5 years ago

    Thanks! it’s like you stepped into my brain and told me just what I needed to hear!

  16. Ah man I crave the quiet life like it’s a drug! I yearn for it, daydream about it, cultivate it where ever I can, and crave it deeply… I just cannot get enough of quiet times at home and never get bored or even suffer cabinfever – think I was a hermit in a past life 🙂

  17. Totally agree! Was living a life based on what other people wanted or expected me to do. Short lived glory for them and zero benefit for me. I write the rules now and chart my own course.

    • Judith

    • 5 years ago

    Totally agree Pip.Especially as we get older,time to slow down and think about ourselves.

  18. I have become a supreme homebody. I often wonder if I’m doing my children a disservice by no going out more, not socialising more or being more ” out there”? I just feel like home is the place for me. It’s not about the actual structure but just feeling home gives me. I like home best of all.

  19. I am SO the quiet road type, home is well and truly where my heart is.

  20. I was forced to take the slow road and after all the hustle it was hard but now, I’m making active choices to be still, to be home. It feels good.

  21. Me too. I can’t be creative with everyone elses ‘noise’… !

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