Hahahahaha… what? I mean. Isn’t it always the way that when you are having a tough time, things get a little bit weirder?! It is for me, anyway.
I’m kind of at the point where each challenge illicits mildly hysterical laughter and a sort of puffed up pride at how resilient I’ve become.
The latest excitement is some health challenges. Women’s health challenge, type of thing. I mean, despite appearances (insert snort) I am no spring chicken and after a pretty good run things have gotten a bit fraught and annoying and exhausting. #PoorMe
No need to worry, though. I’ve had all the tests and it looks like it’s nothing too serious and I had the bonus of meeting a lovely lady who chatted to me about the importance of family and how much she looked forward to having grandkids (as she investigated the bits that are giving me trouble.) It’s not how I thought things would go, but I’ll take a nice chat with my pelvic ultrasound over white-knuckled worry any old day.
I am looking forward to getting sorted soon, and I wasn’t going to talk about it, but gosh we keep this stuff quiet a lot of the time and it makes other women feel a bit bewildered (and forces them to consult Dr Google or medical message boards from 2011. Don’t do that. Okay I did that.)
This stuff shouldn’t be embarrassing or private, I don’t think. It’s just another thing our bodies do in their quest to make us appreciate good health, so I’m not going to pretend I’m feeling awesome when I’m not. Maybe when someone else is feeling unawesome they’ll think “Oh. This is a glitch. Let’s ride it out and hope for the best!” instead of “Bung lady parts! I’m so ashamed! Don’t talk to me about this! Argh.”
The nice-chat ultrasound lady said that to her, it looks like a
golf ball-sized fibroid EDIT: baseball sized fibroid is what’s causing me misery and pain. She said it’s snuggled up tight and mischievously sending my body totally haywire. And confirmed that it would shrivel up like a sultana one day and stop its rubbish games. Some poor women have fibroids that are the size of a MELON or have multiple fibroids, so my effort is pretty humble and for that I am grateful. #Underachiever
(I’ve called my snuggle buddy Herman because it seems perfect for a made-it-myself intruder.)
Obviously the doctor needs to confirm all this once all the tests are in, but it’s good to know that it all looks pretty non-complicated, yet a bit bullish*tty, and it’ll all be alright soon. Because of course you always think the worst. Why do we think the worst?! Don’t think the worst. Okay I did that.
Incidentally, chatty lady said my ovaries look perfect. I’m so proud. #BestInShow
Needless to say, I feel like I’ve run a marathon with an elephant on my back and mostly want to be under the doona. LUCKILY I have to earn a living, so that’s not an option. (Insert aformentioned laughter.)
Anyway, I wanted to check in, because I love my blog so much but things keep coming between me and it/you. It’s not a lack of enthusiasm, that’s for sure. More just being super stretched and tripped up all the year long. Fortunately I’m the optimistic type and I am certain that some day soon, it won’t be quite so tricky.
I have been cheating on my blog – and writing a book – but I really want to write a book, so I think juggling the two is okay. (I promise to do better here now that I know it’s just a Herman.)
I’ve written 13 095 words of my book, so far. I guess that’s a bit less than a third. I am not sure. Books have a mind of their own…
At this point, I will stop talking about me, and pop in some excellent things I have read of late. Just in case you wanted to read something excellent. Here you go. I’ll be over here trying to be awake and non-hurty.
Obituaries my mother wrote for me when I was living in San Francisco in my twenties
Here’s what food tutorials directed by Wes Anderson, Quentin Tarantino and more would look like
An open letter to meal prepping enthusiasts
How to build resilience in mid life
The value of deep work in an age of distraction
I promise this is not going to turn into a blog of disasters, despite recent evidence pointing to this!
Love to you,
Thanks for reading!
Hope your ladybits are not giving you grief!