Haha Herman

tea cosy by pip Lincolne

Hahahahaha… what? I mean. Isn’t it always the way that when you are having a tough time, things get a little bit weirder?! It is for me, anyway.

I’m kind of at the point where each challenge illicits mildly hysterical laughter and a sort of puffed up pride at how resilient I’ve become.

The latest excitement is some health challenges. Women’s health challenge, type of thing. I mean, despite appearances (insert snort) I am no spring chicken and after a pretty good run things have gotten a bit fraught and annoying and exhausting. #PoorMe

No need to worry, though. I’ve had all the tests and it looks like it’s nothing too serious and I had the bonus of meeting a lovely lady who chatted to me about the importance of family and how much she looked forward to having grandkids (as she investigated the bits that are giving me trouble.) It’s not how I thought things would go, but I’ll take a nice chat with my pelvic ultrasound over white-knuckled worry any  old day.

I am looking forward to getting sorted soon, and I wasn’t going to talk about it, but gosh we keep this stuff quiet a lot of the time and it makes other women feel a bit bewildered (and forces them to consult Dr Google or medical message boards from 2011.  Don’t do that. Okay I did that.)

This stuff shouldn’t be embarrassing or private, I don’t think. It’s just another thing our bodies do in their quest to make us appreciate good health, so I’m not going to pretend I’m feeling awesome when I’m not. Maybe when someone else is feeling unawesome they’ll think “Oh. This is a glitch. Let’s ride it out and hope for the best!” instead of “Bung lady parts! I’m so ashamed! Don’t talk to me about this! Argh.”

The nice-chat ultrasound lady said that to her, it looks like a golf ball-sized fibroid EDIT: baseball sized fibroid is what’s causing me misery and pain. She said it’s snuggled up tight and mischievously sending my body totally haywire.  And confirmed that it would shrivel up like a sultana one day and stop its rubbish games.  Some poor women have fibroids that are the size of a MELON or have multiple fibroids, so my effort is pretty humble and for that I am grateful. #Underachiever

(I’ve called my snuggle buddy Herman because it seems perfect for a made-it-myself intruder.)

Obviously the doctor needs to confirm all this once all the tests are in, but it’s good to know that it all looks pretty non-complicated, yet a bit bullish*tty, and it’ll all be alright soon. Because of course you always think the worst. Why do we think the worst?! Don’t think the worst. Okay I did that.

Incidentally, chatty lady said my ovaries look perfect. I’m so proud. #BestInShow

Needless to say, I feel like I’ve run a marathon with an elephant on my back and mostly want to be under the doona. LUCKILY I have to earn a living, so that’s not an option. (Insert aformentioned laughter.)

Anyway, I wanted to check in, because I love my blog so much but things keep coming between me and it/you. It’s not a lack of enthusiasm, that’s for sure. More just being super stretched and tripped up all the year long. Fortunately I’m the optimistic type and I am certain that some day soon, it won’t be quite so tricky.

I have been cheating on my blog – and writing a book – but I really want to write a book, so I think juggling the two is okay. (I promise to do better here now that I know it’s just a Herman.)

I’ve written 13 095 words of my book, so far. I guess that’s a bit less than a third. I am not sure. Books have a mind of their own…

At this point, I will stop talking about me, and pop in some excellent things I have read of late. Just in case you wanted to read something excellent. Here you go. I’ll be over here trying to be awake and non-hurty.

Obituaries my mother wrote for me when I was living in San Francisco in my twenties
Here’s what food tutorials directed by Wes Anderson, Quentin Tarantino and more would look like
An open letter to meal prepping enthusiasts
How to build resilience in mid life
The value of deep work in an age of distraction

I promise this is not going to turn into a blog of disasters, despite recent evidence pointing to this!

Love to you,

Thanks for reading!

Hope your ladybits are not giving you grief!

x Pip



  1. Hey pip, sorry to hear Herman is giving you trouble, my sister has one of those Herman’s-mate-types that has the teeth and hair!! It’s been giving her so much trouble!

    I hope Herman shrivels into a sultana very soon.
    In the meantime don’t beat yourself up about not perfectly doing all the things. It still looks like you are to us!!

    be nice to yourself,
    Sally x

  2. Good luck with your Herman.

    I have a lump in my breast called Leonard 🙂

    1. Oh LEONARD. GO AWAY LEONARD. Love to you, Susie. Bloody lady lumps… Sigh.

  3. Hi Pip, I have just booked surgery to have my fibroid removed with all my female bits. Size of a tennis ball (always using a sporty description for visual) and uterus size of a 14 week pregnancy. I don’t go through any pain you mention but was instigated by heavy monthly menstrual cycles which did not seem normal at the age of 41. There was some great read I found learning more about the family of Herman’s if you would like me to share. Good luck with your check ups and know your not alone.

  4. I’ve been reading your blog but never commented. I had to today because this post made me laugh. Not about Herman and the trouble you are having. I feel for you. Just about the lady bits part and how we always try to keep things a secret. I guess we are always taught it’s just something you never talk about. Why, I don’t know. I hope you feel better and get everything cleared up soon.

  5. Ha! I have a tumour living on my right ovary called Iris, perhaps she and Herman can meet and sail off into the sunset and leave us be?!

    1. That sounds like a good idea. My blog is basically Tinder for unwelcome stowaways. I hope Iris gets the hint soon, Manda. x

  6. Hi Pip

    Sorry to read about Herman. I really hope it all gets sorted soon and you are rid of him and back on the mend. My sister had fibroids, a few in fact, one was apparently the size of a small baby’s head. Surgery took care of them and she is now much better, but like you she felt awful for ages. This was a few years ago by the way and at that time they had to be a certain size before surgery could be used to remove them.

    On a totally frivolous note, I am in the market for a new teapot and was wondering where you got the one in your picture. it looks like it would make a few cups and all the ones I’ve looked at online seem too small for my tea needs.

    I live in the UK by the way re the teapot thing.

  7. Ah, Pip! I was just thinking about how we need to talk about our health stuff today because I’ve just had to go to the endocrinologist to look at my fluctuating hormones and the osteoporosis I now have! At 47! Anyhoo, she thought a thorough hormonal investigation was in order so have had the boobs squished, the thyroid photographed. Now for the blood test to examine all sorts of things! Aren’t we lucky to be able to access health care so that we can check all our bits and bobs?

  8. Hey there Pip. I’m 53 years old and went through a similar thing with my lady bits a few years prior to turning 50 It’s definitely not a picnic and all the worry and ultrasounds makes you feel very scared. My perimenopausal body changes n stuff and with a good doctor and naturopath in collaboration I worked my way through it and by the time reached about 50 was pretty much good as gold.
    It was two years of taking herbs and getting things right, keeping an eye on my iron levels and all of that kind of stuff.
    Now I’m making it all about me but I just wanted to say that I really empathise because women get stereotyped for menopausal behaviour and nobody really understands what they’re going through. There were times when I felt quite hysterical inside but the herbs settled me down.
    It’s not always really the kind of stuff you want to post publicly but at the same time when you reach out you realise that others may be suffering too, right?
    I really hope that the pooeyness is abating soon.
    X Sarah

  9. Take care Pip, you always share so much joy and wisdom on your blog, despite the ups and downs of life. Thanks for the links too, you always find interesting things x

  10. Oh Pip it all sounds quite tough and unpleasant. Hoping it is soon fixed and Herman buggers off. Thanks for sharing, while I don’t want others to struggle it is nice to know that I’m not alone and we all have our crap times as well as our shiny times.

  11. Hah! #BestInShow! You made me laugh.
    Hope you feel better soon x

  12. Hey Pip, life is both shiny times and difficult times. and I for one really love and respect how you’re feeling your way through sharing on the blog.
    Boo (with an odd side of hmm, that woke me up in ways I didn’t expect) to health challenges, they can be a bit of a salad spinner for our usual days can’ t they?
    Your optimism and proactive nature will see you through. Yep. That’s what I think.

    Herman is pretty damn attractive by the way : )

  13. Oh Pip, thank goodness it’s just a Herman! I was at the doctors on Thursday for my Pap smear & my doctor is sending me off for an ultrasound because she’s hoping that what’s causing me issues is just a Herman & not EARLY MENOPAUSE!!! I can’t tell you how much I laughed at that! I’m only 38!!! There’s also a boob issue to sort out, so another ultrasound there too ( here you go ultrasound place, just take my whole purse ok ?).
    I hope your Herman stops giving you issues & shrivels up fast. And thank you for sharing. And being you. Big love Pip xx

  14. Owies! You’re right, we don’t share enough of the non-shiny stuff. We’re not super-women. Sending virtual hugs, cos sore lady bits can be miserable indeed! Hope Herman gets resolved very soon. And congratulations on managing to keep going with Herman in residence…

  15. Ah Pip! The lady bits become a nuisance and a burden at times! I had mine removed thanks to multiple fibroids and conditions every.single.month. which prevented me from getting to work to do my job as a teaching assistant principal. Best. Decision. Ever. I’ve taken to sharing my health (or lack of it!) condition via the blog and people have told me they find it helpful and may even be useful in the future to others. Just on 3 months ago I was diagnosed with a rotten cancer in my mouth (so unusual that only 2% of females get it!h and had complex and major surgery 6 weeks ago this week to rid me of it. It has really helped me to have love and support of blogging and social media friends and I offer the same love and support to you! Denyse xx

  16. I love hearing about the tough stuff. So often we only show our shiny bits online.
    Thanks for introducing Herman. Hope
    He shrivels up real quick for you. Take care. Bron xo

  17. Damn our ageing lady bits. I am due to book in for my pelvic ultrasound soon to check for Hermans, not to mention the -oscopies that are on the cards. Bleurgh. Hope the sun is shining on you today.

  18. And LOVE also to you, Pip.
    If it doesn’t pain it roars or somesuch whatnot cliché. Gah.
    Out damn Herman, out.

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