I’m well and truly growing up and this morning I was thinking about things that I’ve learnt along the way and I thought – maybe some of these could be helpful to my younger comrades. So I wrote ’em down and now I’m making you read them. You are so welcome.
11 Life Lessons For Younger-Than-Me Women
1/ Do really elaborate eye-liner while you can, because when your eyesight starts to get dodgy it’s super hard to get a nice wing.
2/ If your periods start to get heavy or your uterus/ovaries/other womanly bits are not playing nice – do something about it. Talk to your doctor. And if they brush you off, try another doctor. Conditions like fibroids and endometriosis average something like 6 years of manifesting painful symptoms before they’re diagnosed because women think pain and heavy periods are normal. Get help sooner and live a much more joyful and energetic life.
3/ The only thing about your body that remains constant is your ability to make friends with it. It’s a blinking amazing arrangement of limbs and vessels and cells and organs and heart and emotions and it allows you to experience life and when you think of it, that might just be some kind of magic.
4/ While the media/world/universe wants you to feel like you’re half of an unmatched pair, you are actually your very own full set. Romance and nurture yourself as a priority. You don’t need anyone else to complete you.
5a/ There are lots of ways to have kids in your life. Having babies is awesome, but don’t feel weird if you don’t fancy doing it. Some people had enough of kids during their own childhood and if that is you, that is fine. You do you. If you have friends with kids they will be more than keen for you to borrow theirs.
5b/ If you do have a baby/s, do not feel guilty about how you did it. Birth and baby feeding expectations will tie you up in a knot of guilt, if you are the caring type. Please know that my three adult children show no signs of being birthed naturally/not naturally or breastfed/formula fed. They instead show excellent signs of being raised by a mum who loved the heck out of them and did what she could, when she could.
6/ Make sure you have a superannuation fund. If you don’t, start today and add to it every time you get paid. Casual and contract jobs are meaning that many women don’t have super, and if you couple that with the years many women spend out of the workforce raising the next generation it’s not great. Think of it as an investment in your future happiness. It’s as important as paying your rent, it’s just that you might not know it yet.
7/ Start writing. I know, I know. I go on about this, but one of the best ways to process your feelings and circumstances is to write a little about where you are and how you feel on a regular basis. This is especially useful if you can’t afford to spend a lot of money on a therapist. Note that you don’t have to write neatly or even read your writing back. Just get your thoughts and feelings down.
8/ Pay attention to the fine line between protecting yourself from negative things in a smart way – and simply being closed-off and retreating. Only you know when you’re pushing the world/people away for slightly wonky reasons, so be mindful of missing out due to anxiety or unfounded fear.
9/ Conversely, know that fame and visible success are not the only goal. Living a gentle, fun, compassionate life is an excellent goal too. Not everybody has to know your name. Sometimes it’s better to just know yourself and have a few ace friends and family buddies and pets. Yep.
10/ Everything does not happen for a reason. Terrible things happen to good sorts. Karma might just take 500 years to reconcile misdeeds. How we push through the good and the bad – and how we treat other people and care about our world is what defines us, in the end. Know that it’s what you do in the face of difficulty that is the thing that matters. (And if you cock up, you are in good company!)
11/ Forgive yourself. For whatever it is you think you’ve buggered up. Forgive yourself. Every day, if need be and try to do a little better next time. Forgive. Your. Self.
Love to you, darling-faces.
xx Pip
Photo by Lisa Cohen
24 Comments
Fiona Hitchman
March 26, 2018 at 11:16 PMI just came across this post and its really helpful – Thank you. I beat myself up a lot about stuff and its just not healthy, sometimes you just need to breathe and let things go. Thank you again!
Jo Clutton
February 28, 2018 at 7:38 PMAnother good read, Pip, although this doesnt apply to me! Have you ever read Desiterata (not certain of the spelling?)? Reminds me of that.
Jo UK
jill
February 26, 2018 at 2:43 PMI love this list, what a great reminder of all the things that are important, and to spend the time where it counts x
Renee
February 25, 2018 at 9:19 AMYou are soooo loved Pip. xxxx
Kat
February 23, 2018 at 8:35 AMJust. Yes! I passed this on to all the younger women in my life and took enormous liberty by adding my own for all the amazing women I work with.
You are more than good enough. Apply for the job even though you think you only have 60% of the skills required and you think you should work harder for another couple of years to get to 90% before applying.
Madeleine
February 22, 2018 at 11:35 PMThanks for the advice Pip. This is lovely and something I needed to read tonight. I am going to wear my eye liner heavy and winged to work tomorrow! x
Jenny
February 22, 2018 at 9:45 AMI’ve never commented before, Pip, but so much of what you write resonates with me. Am trying to steer clear of social media and blogs in an effort to feel better about myself and more focused on what actually makes me happy – but always check in to see when you have written something because it does exactly that – makes me feel happy and normal!! x
Kate
February 22, 2018 at 7:43 PMMe too Jenny
Soph
February 22, 2018 at 6:48 AMAhhh you’re amazing! Whenever I’m feeling a little lost – I read a few pages of Craft for the Soul xx
Anne
February 22, 2018 at 1:24 AMExcellent list. All of these resonate with my 53-year-old self, especially No. 3 and 8. No. 3 is kind of a wake up call because we don’t treat our body that well most of the time and when you really think about how everything works together it really is “some kind of magic”. Thanks for this.
Tracey
February 21, 2018 at 10:23 PMThank you. Just great.
Michelle
February 21, 2018 at 8:48 PMWhat a thoughtful list of advice Pip. I can relate to so much.
I hope you’re feeling better xx
Annamari
February 21, 2018 at 8:43 PMI am thinking where to store this so I can share it with my daughters when they grow up a bit into young adulthood. Very wise words. <3
Denyse
February 21, 2018 at 3:47 PM68 year old me agrees, particularly about what happens to your ‘no longer wanting kids but body thinks it needs to be ready just in case’ statement! I am evidence of doing something about it! Was necessary & glad to have hysterectomy at 38.
Onya Pip!
Denyse xx
Sarah
February 21, 2018 at 3:41 PMI feel like you wrote me a letter Pip! Thank you ? ??
Sarah
February 21, 2018 at 3:42 PMMy emojis have come up as question marks unfortunately. *hearts*
Little White Dove
February 21, 2018 at 1:31 PMOh they are fabulous Pip! I certainly relate to number one, not just for the eyesight factor but the ‘relaxed’ skin around my eyes makes a nice wing tricky too… and sometimes the wing vanishes into a laugh line which is kinda funny I guess… And a resounding loud yes to number 2, it’s never too late to not feel completely sh!t every month and it’s not normal no matter how many doctors tell you it is! And I need your number 7 reminders, it’s too easy to let that side fade into the black hole of the ‘to do list’… and 5b, sheesh we can be so harsh on ourselves when looking back, but you know when they grow up and turn out with big beautiful hearts for the world, all that judgeypants should just take a walk… love to you cute Pip xx
Bryley
February 21, 2018 at 10:16 AMExactly! Thanks Pip.
Kate
February 21, 2018 at 10:10 AMThank you pip, I think I’m about the same age as you but clearly nowhere near as wise.
If I had a tribe I’d want you in it for sure.
Yep to number 2, I never did anything about mine and now I’m almost at the end it seems pointless, but the amount of time I lost and things I missed out on because I was on the couch with a hottie bottle just makes me sad.
Number 8 is so true and the last one, forgive yourself is the most powerful thing any of us can do for ourselves and the greatest act of self love.
Cheers Kate
Lyndsey Mayhew
February 21, 2018 at 9:46 AMOh yaaaass, wise words. It’s great getting older isn’t it! The bumps in the road are hard but I can look back now and reflect on what I’ve learnt. I love Gretchen Rubin’s Lessons of Adulthood. Here are 2 of mine. 1) When busy I thrive, when less so I skive. 2) Spend time making a decision then seal it up in the mind. You’ve decided so don’t waste energy analysing it. xx L
Tiffany
February 21, 2018 at 9:40 AMYes to all of them, but number 2 especially – I spent years just suffering in silence, when I could have had simple fibroid surgery. In the end I had a hysterectomy and haven’t regretted it – but I wish I’d done something less drastic much much earlier.
Josephine
February 21, 2018 at 9:18 AMWell said! Yep, yep, yep! (Off to check my superannuation…)
Marnie Turner
February 21, 2018 at 8:56 AMNaw you’re a gem, Pip xx
me
February 21, 2018 at 8:45 AMYes!